Electrostate parody
ČEZ, with its E1.5bn war chest for solar power, announced a major project yesterday for balancing the grid during optimal climatic periods (meaning the 3-4 weeks of the year when the sun actually shines in the CR). ČEZ will use load balancing to dispose of its excess electricity from coal and nuclear production when its solar plants are humming along. "We looked at pumped-storage and other established technologies for balancing supply and demand," said CEO Martin Roman, "but we decided to award a no-bid contract to Škoda Power to build a large outdoor refrigeration plant. Basically, we're going to construct a big freezer and leave the door open. We'll achieve two things. First, we'll maximize our profits by not having to disconnect any of our solar plants. If the state's going to pay the generous solar subsidy anyway, our shareholders should get most of it, right? And second, cooling the atmosphere will reduce global warming." The Tripartite Council was delighted with the idea, because of all the jobs it would create.
Glossary of difficult words
PARODY - this is a parody of how decisions are made in the electrostate and is supposed to be FUNNY; few of the facts, and none of the quotations, are true;war chest - a sum of money for conducting a campaign or business;
load balancing - regulation of production of electricity to match momentary demand;
grid - the electricity distribution network;
humming along - running smoothly;
pumped-storage hydroelectricity - a method of electricity generation involving the movement of water between different elevations to balance demand;
no-bid contract - a contract award to a predetermined supplier without a competitive contest;
Škoda Power - the recipient of many no-bid ČEZ contracts;
Tripartite Council - made up of the government, employers and the unions; it recently voiced its support for major energy projects because of the jobs they would create.