Drinking & driving
If Parliament goes through with the new idea of using breathalyzers to test if MPs are excessively tired and emotional, Miroslav Kalousek might be forced to live for entire weeks during legislative periods on nothing but food and water. A well-nourished Kalousek refused yesterday to submit to a breath test, telling TV Nova that it's humiliating. Perhaps because of his chronic fatigue, he failed to see the irony of saying this week that it isn't an invective to claim that ODS and ČSSD have been supporting a "cartel of power" in Prague because "everybody knows it's true." Now that Kalousek has challenged MP David Rath to prove that he (Kalousek) wasn't entirely sober during debate in Parliament, "everybody knows it was true." Parliament might have to intervene in the dispute by declaring a state of legislative emergency and ordering up an alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet of the kind made famous by Lindsay Lohan. After all, we can't have the finance minister driving the economy under the influence even for a minute.
Glossary of difficult words
breathalyzer - a device used by the police for measuring the amount of alcohol in a driver's breath;tired and emotional - a British euphemism for "drunk," esp. in reference to politicians;
forced to live for weeks on nothing but food and water - attributed to comedian W.C. Fields;
invective - insulting, abusive or highly critical language.