Brave messages
Miloš Zeman announced yesterday that he'll have a hepatectomy, because there's a 90% chance that his "weak virus" will get his liver anyway. Miroslav Kalousek said that he'll have his tongue removed, because there's a 90% chance he'll lie to the Czech people the next time he addresses them. Václav Klaus announced that he'll have 90% of his brain removed, because he finally wants to know what it's like to be a pleb. Martin Roman announced that he'll have 90% of his wealth removed, because he wants his official assets to match his real assets when Lenka Bradáčová pays him a visit. Bohuslav Sobotka announced that he won't have 90% of his masculinity removed, because it's already missing. Karel Schwarzenberg announced that he'll have 90% of his gentility removed, to give Zeman half a chance of being as good a president as he would have been. The media praised them all for sending a brave message.
Glossary of difficult words
hepatectomy - (in this context) the surgical removal of the liver from a liver-transplant recipient;pleb - an ordinary person, esp. of from the lower social classes;
gentility - social superiority as demonstrated by polite, refined and respectable manners, behavior or appearances;
half a chance - the slightest opportunity.