Miloš Zeman's Wild West show
Miloš Zeman went West yesterday with guns a'blazing. His stagecoach stopped in Washington, where a crowd had gathered to cheer as one vaudevillian after another celebrated his love for and devotion to the Holy Land and its Likud party. Zeman declared that we are all Jews now and set himself apart from the others even more by being the slowest to take the stage, the slowest to speak and the one with the biggest six-shooters. Drone 'em to death, he exhorted, as if robotic birds in the sky were the new Gatling guns that would wipe out the Indians (er, terrorists). In the spirit of Wild West shows, Zeman was there to be adored and not to offend, except for maybe the local sheriff over in the White House. "No more of your go-it-alone occupational wars," Zeman stammered. As his stagecoach rolled off into the sunset, the sheriff's deputies could be heard muttering, "Good riddance, and never come back to this town again."
Glossary of difficult words
Wild West shows - traveling vaudeville performances in the U.S. and Europe in the late 19th and early 20th centuries;guns blazing - guns firing repeatedly or indiscriminately (the prefix "a" is a colloquial usage with no additional meaning);
stagecoach - a large, closed, horse-drawn vehicle formerly used to carry passengers;
vaudeville - a type of entertainment popular in the U.S. in the early 20th century, featuring a mixture of specialty acts such as burlesque comedy, song and dance;
six-shooter - a revolver with six chambers;
to exhort - to strongly encourage or urge someone to do something;
Gatling gun - a rapid-fire, crank-driven gun with a cylindrical cluster of several barrels; the first practical machine gun;
to stammer - to speak in a halting way;
good riddance - said to express relieve at being free of a troublesome or unwanted person or thing.