Choose your poison

Many Czechs will choose the lesser of 31 poisons when they go to the polls this weekend. They will ask themselves how they want to go, quickly and painfully, or slowly and inertly. Small doses of ammonia from Andrej Babiš's meat-like products are hardly detectable but, like the lithium in ČSSD's election cocktail, become devastating when consumed for too long. In large amounts most poisons, like most politicians, make people vomit, give them diarrhea or put them to sleep. Three pressed seeds from the tomio plant can kill all of a person's brain cells. Two tokes on a Pirate pipe and a voter forgets what Parliament is for. One drop of topka and a person gets Babiš and Russian fever. The more powerful the poison, says Peter Macinnis in "The Killer Bean of Calabar," the worse it tastes. Historically, though, people have thought that if quack medicine tastes very bad, makes them really sick and costs a lot of money, it must be curing them. So pick your poison with care.