Christmas covid hunters

For the first time in more than 400 years, Baby Jesus might be banned from Czech homes on Christmas Eve. "If we do not behave responsibly," Health Min. Jan Blatný said yesterday, "it will not be a pretty Christmas." He'll introduce a new color-coded alert system tomorrow, and a ban might remain in place for weeks on home visits by anyone but family members and other close persons. Baby Jesus is neither, except maybe in the spiritual sense. To homes where the truth about Baby Jesus hasn't yet been revealed to the small children, Interior Min. Jan Hamáček might have to dispatch covid hunters, similar to Col. Hans Landa in Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, for smelling out any illegal visitor who might be hiding in the chimney. "Now, my job dictates that I must have my men enter your home and conduct a thorough search before I can officially cross your family's name off my list," Col. Landa told one suspected concealer. "It's all up to each of us," Blatný said yesterday.