New Year's commandments
I am the Covid Lord thy God, and thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, except of a vaccine vial and syringe.
Thou shalt not take the name of the Covid Lord thy God in vain or share disinformation about Him.
Remember the Sabbath, but do not sing or render thyself this day to a place of non-Covid worship.
Honor thy father and thy mother by not touching, hugging or visiting them.
Thou shalt not kill except by disinfectant, isolation or alarmism.
Thou shalt not steal unless thou art a pharma company or other member of the Covid elite.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor whilst informing upon him.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife or enter into nonessential contact with her.
Thou shalt not live, so that thou shalt not die.
Thou shalt love the Covid Lord thy God with all thy heart, all thy soul, and all thy mind.
Glossary of difficult words
thy, thou shalt, thee - your, you shall, you;graven image - a carved idol or representation of a god used as an object of worship;
to take the Lord's name in vain - to use the name of God in a way that is wicked, contemptible or wrong-spirited;
the Sabbath - a day of religious observance and abstinence from work;
to render oneself - to present (oneself); to take steps to be at a certain place;
to bear false witness - to lie about or misrepresent the truth;
whilst - while;
to covet - to yearn to possess (esp. something belonging to someone else);
thy shalt not live, so that thy shalt not die - by not living your life, you can stay alive.